Alexithymia: When You Can’t Name Your Feelings

In short: Alexithymia is a personality trait — not a diagnosis — involving difficulty identifying, describing and understanding your own emotions. It is much more common in autistic people than in the general population.

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Alexithymia literally means “no words for emotions”. People with high alexithymia may feel something strongly but not know what it is, or notice physical sensations (a racing heart, a tight stomach) without linking them to feelings.

Signs of alexithymia

Answering “I don’t know” or “fine” when asked how you feel — and meaning it
Confusing emotions with hunger, tiredness or illness
Sudden meltdowns that seem to “come out of nowhere”
Preferring logical over emotional explanations
Difficulty describing others’ feelings

Alexithymia and autism

Research estimates that around half of autistic people have high levels of alexithymia, compared with roughly one in ten in the general population. Some difficulties once blamed on autism itself may be partly explained by alexithymia.

Alexithymia and ADHD

Alexithymia also appears more often in ADHD and may add to emotional dysregulation.

How to build emotional awareness

Use an emotion wheel or feelings list to find words
Body scans: notice sensations, then guess the emotion
Journalling with prompts (“what happened just before?”)
Therapy that adapts to neurodivergent communication
Interoception exercises — noticing hunger, thirst, temperature

Where to next?

I’m here for me →
Adults: late diagnosis, burnout, treatment, “do I have it?”I’m here for my child →
Parents: signs by age, assessment, school, support

Sources & further reading

Last checked: 31 October 2026. If you spot something out of date, tell us.